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There, having groped for the bag lock among badges birthmarks, I got thin ladies' cigarettes with aroma of a rose — my only pretentious habit. What waits for me in the capital? Moscow as speak, not only doesn't trust tears, but also even as if demands them. How many did I already hear stories about fugitives in her cannibalistic belly? Very few people found really good life. Despite the sad thoughts cast by the road I rejoiced. It was a desperate and evil celebration. I felt that I can't be late more the house. Otherwise just I will become someone pathetic, crushed by social disadaptation and … — the Girl, don't prompt what time is it? I slowly exhaled the smoke smelling of a rose, cast away hair from a face and turned back. The man in flabby track bottoms recoiled, squeezed out, stammering: — Sorry, brother, it is the devil's work. Got drunk Zhigulyovsk … you want a small bottle?. Without answering, I crushed a stub in an ashtray and returned into place. People build life and choose destiny. I don't remember someone told it to me, but a phrase with me for the rest of life now. Nothing to me will tear down my plans any more. I am not guilty of what I am. It is not a rush to debauchery or недоеб though, probably, in the seventeenth century I would be subjected to exorcism ritual. To spit. We any more not in the seventeenth century. Let in it there live maxims, semena and other. And I have to fight for own happiness. We met Anton often. Sex wasn't any more, but there was something bigger and expensive — friendship. Sitting on a pipe over the small small river, I smoked and stirred with Anton, he laughed from my addiction to roses, I cried with a life despair. In one October evening he suddenly told me: — Leave, Marinka. You are talented, I saw your works. You can achieve success. Success and money, and with them you will already build the destiny as only you want. Three months later I already faced with a cigarette in a hand literary institute of Gorky. On a shoulder the only poor baggage — a bag mail carrier, in ears of a bead of earphones of a player. In soul — determination. I arrived from the first, easily and easy. I got a grant and the room to the hostel, quite decent. Double. The Ukrainian young man Taras was the neighbor. In half a year when I began to earn quite decent money with scenarios, he became my faithful companion and is frequent — the lover. I was taken impudence, went to expressly unisex to clothes with an eternal make-up on a face. It was first difficult, but then even wonderful teachers got used. Still. On a stream at me was progress more, than at all course. After a scourge packages of the Chinese noodles I began to eat at restaurants, to hang out in fashionable clubs and nearly conceived a liking for cocaine. Gay orgies, linen and clothes from expensive shops, drugs … I regained consciousness only when it appeared aground, and the only offer of work was in the sphere of gay prostitution. I had enough mind to refuse. However something after all went not so. Happiness at me didn't increase. On a penny. Therefore mother died. Months of alcohol, a weak-willed fucking in toilets and metamfetominovy depressions. I graduated hardly. Time to choose the next way came … Once I sat on a window sill of an institute corridor and I smoked. I was already known, and not bothered. This strange the boy girl in a semi-women's clothing, with piercing in nipples and a lip, with a black mohawk and in silver spangles can stand for herself. Not without reason it has all torn stockings … To me Taras flew up, grabbed by a hand: — Hey! Where do you vanish? I raised the head, filtered: — And what is necessary? — There this arrived to you, the actor well-known! Well you and lucky, here holy moly!.— Someone arrived? — Well this, To *******! — Do you rave?! — Silly woman! Go quicker! He you demands. The famous actor sat at the rector and had herbal tea. When I entered, he smiled and got up. Everything was dreamily … in devilishly crazy dream. The guy travesty who arrived from the outskirts appears near... The actor told shortly that my scenarios just are ideal for his concert program and for quietly-erotic image. I didn't believe, and then he called my first fee. I choked with cigarette smoke … The destiny favourably presented me the road. Now I that someone has to be. I have an arranged and happy life. I continue to work in the sphere of show business, I write lyrics and scripts of clips, both for Russians, and for foreign performers. Often I go. Hormonal therapy. Sixteen plastic surgeries. New passport. New life. As I also wanted — the Marine in life, Marina by the passport. Once, in a tour of the boss, we stopped by in my native city. And, after the show, to the hotel room Anton with a bouquet of roses was knocked. So many years later he still remembered my tastes. Now I am a mother. I hope that good. Our marriage with Anton is strong as callosities fighting for human life. We have two wonderful adopted children: the boy and the girl whom I love above all. More nothing to me will be able to prevent to live happily! Post, his mother, скриптум. I don't know why I laid out all this under a bluff of pornstories … Perhaps you will prompt to me? Yours — the Marine.